There are events and circumstances in life that are beyond your control, but you can control how you respond. When you improve your personal life, your reaction to life events comes from a place of strength and positivity. If you make one small change to your lifestyle at first, the positive effect infiltrates into other areas. Begin by implementing change in an area that you feel is manageable—the last thing you need is to feel overwhelmed.

The Best Ways to Make Strides in Your Personal Life 

The cycle of negative thought patterns. 

This is probably the toughest area to navigate because it impacts everything. Think about how you're thinking in any given situation, and flip it around. Your relationship ended? See it as an opportunity to focus on yourself. Car need repairs? At least you have a car. Flight was delayed? Extra time to try out a new airport restaurant or meet fellow travelers. Try these 2 strategies:

1) Learn how to catch, check, and change your negative thought patterns.

2) Make positivity a habit, at the end of every day, write down five things in your day that brought you happiness early today, no matter how big or small. 

Saying no to exercise.

Exercise releases endorphins, improves mood, aids weight loss, and can lower the risk of disease. Stop saying no to exercise, get outside, and do something you enjoy. Or try a brief meditation each morning/night, and see what it can do for you.

Being a victim.

Some people were born into better circumstances and had a better head start on life, which means you may have to work harder at life. But they also have their problems. Some people have endured more tragedy and financial loss than others but still refuse to be a victim. But for every bad thing that's happened to you, someone else has had worse or is going through worse. Take responsibility, accept your past and who you are, and practice forgiveness.

Ignoring people and social events.

Everyone needs a bit of respite from back-to-back social occasions but ignoring all social events will make people stop making an effort with you. This can lead to you feeling excluded and rejected in the long run, wondering why people don't invite you anywhere. Friendship is a two-way street. Your friends and family can help you improve your personal life and bolster your ego. 

Being scared of change.

Change in life is inevitable, but sometimes it can be uncomfortable. In order for growth to happen, change has to occur. To embrace change, have patience and step out of your comfort zone. Opting for change can provide opportunities to discover new passions, hobbies, and more.

Not valuing your time.

Even if you are good at managing your time and accomplishing what you need to do every day, you may not understand just how much interruptions are costing you. If you own your own business, it’s important to have a good idea of just how much your time is worth.

Being stuck in a job you don't like.

When you're stuck in a job you don't like, it can affect every aspect of your life. To automatically change aspects of your life, you need to be happy at work or think about starting your own business. If you’re ready for a career change, it’s easy to earn a career-relevant degree through an online program. Online learning provides more flexibility than in-person learning so you can continue working while earning your degree.

Ignore your sleep.

When we feel stuck or stressed out, the first thing we let go of is sleep. However, if you can improve your sleep quality, and optimize your sleep window, your life will be changed. Learn more about how to change your sleep from sleep psychologist Dr. Yishan Xu’s podcast and insomnia treatment online courses (more to come).

Improve Your Personal Life

The only way to improve your personal life is to eliminate negative behaviors. When you adopt healthy habits, the world becomes a better and more enjoyable place.

Author: Marcus Lansky

This article is brought to you by Mind & Body Garden Psychology —- Psychological services available in multiple languages (English, Mandarin, Cantonese): 650-434-2563 (Voicemail only); admin@mindbodygarden.com. We are out-of-network providers, HSA/FSA accepted. Send us a text message on the phone, or call us and leave a voicemail.

• Dr. Yishan Xu’s CBT-I insomnia courses in Chinese and English.

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