Am I Lazy? No, My Sleep Phase Is Just Delayed

“I don't understand why you get up so late! Why can't you just wake up as early as other people? You are so lazy!”

Have you ever heard about this kind of comment before?

Have you ever struggled with staying awake and energetic, no matter how hard you try to adjust your life and sleep?

Do you know anyone in your life or like this, or maybe yourself, struggling with getting up early being on time, cannot wake up easily in the morning feeling so tired throughout the day, no matter how much sleep you get, and sometimes even cannot function very well cannot really thrive and get out all the potentials?

Sometimes, it is a sleep disorder that we all miss!

Sleep apnea, a potentially serious sleep disorder in which breathing repeatedly stops and starts, affects millions of people worldwide. However, the journey to diagnosis and treatment can often be a long and winding road, as Jonaed Iqbal discovered.

As a teenager, Jonaed struggled with waking up for school. He would sleep for 12-14 hours on weekends, a habit that many perceived as laziness. This struggle with sleep continued into his work life, where he found it challenging to be on time due to his constant tiredness.

“when I was a teenager, it was always a struggle sort of waking up for school. And the thing is, like on weekends, I'd sleep like 12 to 14 hours if left to my own devices. And you know, you sort of getting seen as lazy. Fortunately, I did well in school, and I was able to be okay, but the time I woke up during the weekdays never impacted the time I woke up during the weekend. So even when I started working, yeah. And I'll be late, almost every day to work to the point where people will be like, Oh, you showed up on time, is it a special day, and then you'll have no impact on the time I would wake up on the weekends. And eventually, I remember one time, my girlfriend and I, went on vacation. And she was like you snore a lot. And it was pretty bad. I think at one point, it was so bad like shoot like I would constantly wake her up. So at one night, I actually slept on the couch, because it caused, an issue for her. As I started doing a lot of research, I realized and looked into sleep apnea and all the symptoms hit. Like at work, I would yawn more than 50 times 50 to 60 times an hour. And you know, people always think you're lazy, you're out partying, but it's like, I was just tired. And you're just kind of really think like What's wrong? Like? I remember one day, I came home from work and I was like, let me see what time I naturally wake up. If I sleep early. I went to sleep at 7 pm I still woke up to an alarm the next day at 7 am. And it was like, that's not feasible, right? You can't just go to work, come home, go to sleep and do nothing. Right. We have errands we have other things that we have to get done. So that was like when it really sort of hit me. And as I started to do more research, I realized I had sleep apnea. I started recording my sleep, I use one of those apps, and it showed that I snored a lot. And I don't I didn't know I snore. Because I sleep in like a corner room in my house. So no one really ever told me. So that was a real eye-opening to me. ”

Despite trying to go to bed early, Jonaed still needed an alarm to wake up. He would yawn 50-60 times an hour at work, a clear sign that something was not right. His girlfriend noticed that he snored heavily, another red flag that pointed towards a potential sleep disorder.

After researching his symptoms, Jonaed discovered that he had sleep apnea. This diagnosis was a turning point in his life. It explained his constant fatigue, his struggle with waking up, and his heavy snoring.

Sleep apnea is a condition that should not be taken lightly. It can lead to a host of health problems, including high blood pressure, heart disease, and type 2 diabetes. However, with the right treatment and lifestyle changes, it can be managed effectively. After using CPAP as a treatment, he found his life was totally changed.

 It's like one of those things like when you don't get enough sleep. That's the biggest thing on your mind. When you get enough sleep. Everything else sort of falls into place. Because I realized, as I started getting more sleep, things are better. I was an actuary before this. And actuaries have to take exams that take like 100 to 300 hours of studying. And every time I would try to study, immediately, I would feel tired, I would need to feel the need to sleep. After I got my CPAP, I only studied before I took an exam. I barely failed. So you need a six out of 10 to pass, I got a five on the exam. So I retook the exam. But this time I had my CPAP, I only studied for an additional two weeks. And I went from a five to a nine. Well, the thing is, I could actually study without falling asleep, it was easier to remember things. It was just like when I study, I wouldn't get distracted. Right? I could study for longer periods of time it just like impact every aspect of my life.

Jonaed's story serves as a reminder that if you're constantly feeling tired, it's essential to seek medical advice. It's not just about getting enough sleep; it's about getting quality sleep. And sometimes, the first step towards achieving that is acknowledging that there might be a problem.

In the interview, Jonaed also mentioned another sleep disorder he struggles with: Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder (DSPD). DSPD may also make us tired and sleepy during the day, and get us labeled as “lazy“ by others.

I think the other thing is I have something called delayed sleep phase disorder, which is DSPD, which is basically having a shift in circadian rhythm. And as I did research into it is, is correlated with sleep apnea. Because I remember when I was very young, I used to wake up early, right, like six at 7 am, naturally, and I know around puberty, that's when things really started changing. So I think the sleep apnea, like I'm not sensitive to sunlight at all like you can have the sun beaming in my face. And if I'm tired, I'll still fall asleep. I don't wake up in relation to the sun, I just wake up when I'm fully rested. So it's like, I know, some people they sleep and if the sun comes up right there, that's, that's when they sort of body gets alerted, but my body doesn't work like that. And I personally believe, you know, based on what I read that it's because that the sleep apnea sort of my body was conditioned to not respond to the sun because I was so tired. And I think it still affects me to this day, because even when I go travel, and I'll have jetlag, yes, maybe the first day, I'll wake up at 6 AM. But once I'm there for a few days, my natural wake-up time is between 10 AM to 12 PM. So it kind of just confirms that. It's not like a habit issue. It's just how my body is. And it's like, when I work, even after treating sleep apnea, I still had trouble waking up. And it was like, even if I slept later, and I got less sleep, as long as if I woke up later, that was fine. So even if I slept at 9 PM, 10 PM it will still be a struggle for me to wake up at 6 AM. But if I slept at like 2am, waking up at 10, or 11 was not a struggle. So eventually, it's like, when I started my own business, it was sort of a no-brainer. Like, that was one of the things that really helped me sort of make the transition, in that I was like, Look, I can really focus on doing the work when I'm most productive, in that I like working later in the day. And at night, that's when my body's just more alert, as opposed to waking up at, you know, seven at 8 AM. And I'm tired for the first few hours and not alert. And it's like, I see so many people who struggle with it. And I truly feel bad because I remember when I worked at a place I told someone I have it immediately just say, well, you're lazy, I wake up early, why can't you and you know, it really gets to you because it just shows as a lack of ignorance that people really don't understand that they just think like, you don't want to wake up. You know, I do want to wake up I like if I woke up at seven, eight, you know, if I could wake up early, like, I would have got a bigger bonus. Right? And it's not like I don't want that bonus. It's just look, it's so much harder for me. You know, I went to like specialized schools, I went to Columbia University. So I went to an Ivy League school. So work ethic was never an issue for me and I passed actuarial exams. It's just, there are certain times that I'm not as productive. 

I discussed this with my colleague, Dr. Silverman, who is diagnosed with this DSPD. We discussed this from a professional point of view, and shared some treatment options regarding how to cope with it.

Remember, it's not laziness or a lack of discipline. It's a medical condition that can be treated. Don't let misconceptions about sleep disorders prevent you from seeking the help you need. Like Jonaed, you too can overcome sleep apnea and reclaim your energy and productivity.


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SleepDr. Yishan Xudelayed sleep phase disorder, sleepComment